One man's honest opinion about sports in the Motor City, and beyond.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Feet & Balls

Ok, for some reason I have decided to sogg (soccer blog) again. Why??? Because I have realized the problem with the lack of American support for soccer... the scandals...

"But Bladdy, there are no soccer scandals..."

Precisely my friends (my "friends" being my Dad, the only person who reads this... and not very often I think)... Anyway... what the American soccer club needs is some serious, low down, and dirty scandals to spark interest...

C'mon guys.... throw us a friggin bone. England has probably the greatest metro-sexual of all time who is all over the news... We Americans, more than anything, crave a good story... Which, I must add, must have nothing to do with the sport itself... We don't really care there aren't many goals scored... Or that we don't really understand what is going on... We just want to have some kind of vested interest in watching this team...

Maybe an alcoholic... are there any on the team??? If there are... quit hiding it. Put it right out there for everyone to see. Send him to rehab, and make it public. Have him crash his car into the Liberty Bell first... Really add some drama.

How bout roids? Not necessarily for that competitive edge... But, more for the scandal... Nothing has kept the public more interested in Major League Baseball more than all the hoopla surrounding the rampant roid use.

Oh, I know... a sex tape. Those are all the rage right now. You could put out a tape of these guys slappin' balls around all day... "leak" it on the internet... BAM... you gott a million viewers by the next day.

Hmmm... What else??? Spouse abuse is always good . Drug offenses equal awesome. Over sized egos are fantastic. Huge contracts that should have never been paid forcing everyone to hate the contracted player - always a good call. Um... are there any scientologists on the team???

Listen... the possibilites are obviously endless - so let's stop worrying about the game itself... I mean that is secondary. (Just thought of this one - we need to hook one of the players up with a piece of hollywood whore trash (must be blonde) - oooooh... the headlines write themselves) Where was I??? Oh, right... Soccer can't survive in this country until we turn it into every other sport... A huge money/hype/marketing machine... Then we'll love it...

And only then.



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